Chaos: What happens when you ignore the signs for too long, or just don’t know what to do to live a better life

Part 1 in a series

When I turned 37, back in 2007, I thought I was meant to have it all figured out.  Life was meant to be lived to a plan.  The same ones my parents and grandparents had lived.  I had a good career that had given me opportunities beyond what I believed was possible, and a salary in excess of the goals I’d set myself in my mid-twenties.

So why then did I feel so bad?  Why was my desire always for more?  And why was my life so obviously falling apart around me?

The say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  To be honest I’d become dissatisfied with a lot of aspects of my life.  After much hand wringing and soul searching, I’d ended a long-term relationship.  I really thought I would be much happier after that.

It wasn’t the case and things only went downhill.

I got my own flat and spent money on everything I thought would do the trick.  Top brands and because I only had me to answer to, no expense spared.  But the feelings of satisfaction were fleeting.  What I learned from that exercise was the only thing that trying to fill an emotional hole with cars and home theatre systems only creates a big hole in your wallet.

Long story short is I eventually crashed and crashed big.  I was a mess and barely functional.  I wont go not details, but I eventually got some help, began the process of rebuilding and started moving forward.  I can’t say I know why, but I knew I wanted to utilise alternative therapies rather than popping pills.  I went down the path of EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques or tapping as a way to release emotions.

I was still very troubled by negative self-talk and some heavy feelings and would give anything to have a moments peace from my own mind.  It happened, but these were fleeting moments.  More than anything I wanted to experience my own peace of mind and a sense of having made it, and I was on a mission to find it.

Next Up, Setting Goals